#+TITLE: The Cum Curse    
#+AUTHOR: turdman88     
#+EMAIL: tom@tommyers.us  
#+SUBTITLE: A Brief Scientific Analysis Of The Cumtown Podcast.   
#+LATEX_CLASS: article
#+LATEX_CLASS_OPTIONS: [12pt,titlepage]

\newpage

** Introduction
The cum curse refers to the alleged idea that guests on the podcast Cum Town, shortly after their appearance on said podcast, experience a rapid decline in atleast one of the following aspects of life; will to live, self-confidence, self-respect, previously constrained racial bias against asian minorities, sobriety, marriage, business, and likeability. It should be mentioned that black people seem to carry immunity.

** Background 
Cum Town is a new york based comedy podcast hosted by Nicholas Mullen, Stavros Halkias and Adam Friedland. Common themes on the podcast include; claiming various celebrities are homosexual, claiming one of the other hosts are homosexual, racial caricatures, disabled caricatures, and general meanspirited bullying of each other and guests. The psychological effects of belittling have been thoroughly studied.[fn:1]

** Result
On the 19th of July David Cross, well established comedian, made a guest appearance on the podcast.[fn:2] Shortly thereafter Charlyne Yi, selfproclaimed poet, illustrator, musician, dancer and painter, tweeted a story of the first time she met David.
#+BEGIN_QUOTE
I think about the first time I met David Cross ten years ago & he made fun of my pants (that were tattered because I was poor). Dumbfounded I stared at him speechless and he said to me "what's a matter? You don't speak English?? Ching-chong-ching-chong".[fn:3]
#+END_QUOTE
Brendan Eyre, fellow podcaster and comedian, has made multiple appearances on the podcast, and unexplainably tried to hang himself during the summer of 2017.[fn:4]
Twitter personality Gerby Gomo made an appearance on the show in 2017, and mere days later had a divorce with her husband "Jim".[fn:5]
New york comedian and homosexual Ian Fidance has visited the podcast on multiple occasions, only to repeatedly be viciously bullied by the hosts and fans of the podcast. Ian insists on reappearing on the show, indicating a severe lack of self-respect and possibly yet another weird sex thing he is into.[fn:6]
Jake Flores, originally a starting member of the podcast, has made multiple guest appearances. Flores /made love/ to a woman with down syndrome in her vehicle during late 2018.[fn:7]  
In early 2019 former skateboarder Bam Margera was on the podcast. Bam margera had been sober for two months prior, and illuminated no signs of marital problems during the recording. Roughly five hours after the recording Margera had relapsed, physically attacked his manager, been left and robbed by his wife and child, and canceled his /Bam Margera Unfiltered/ tour.[fn:8]
On the same episode as Margera, there were two more guests. Vinny Beedle and Gene DiNapoli.  Beedle /was/ a standup comedy open-micer, until he was so excruciatingly unfunny and unlikeable on the podcast, that one of the first things to show up when you google his name is 

#+BEGIN_QUOTE
Vinny Beedle: FAGGOT[fn:9]
#+END_QUOTE
Gene DiNapoli, selfdescribed as "Mr. Entertainment Entertainer/DJ/MC"[fn:10], was an unfortunate victim to the curse, as he was caught in the crossfire. DiNapoli /used to be/ the owner of /Gene DiNapoli's Central Stage/ in Yonkers, New York City. Five days following DiNapoli's brief appearance on the podcast, he closed central stage[fn:11] , despite claiming the place was an enormous success with over 400 shows booked a year. 

** Discussion
The most important takeaway is that these examples are only the ones that appeared to the public eye through media, empirical observation or public statements made by the victims. The fates of the dozens of other guests remain a mystery.
This analysis does not at all touch on the painfully obvious psychological trauma the podcast has afflicted upon the three hosts and the entire audience. Examples of mentioned trauma include but are not limited to; pedophilia[fn:12] , severe obesity[fn:13] , gender dysphoria, reckless spending, cancer stricken family members, learned helplessness, video game addiction, tooth loss[fn:14] , calcium deficiency[fn:15] , manic episodes, prostitute addiction[fn:16] , financial and moral bankruptcy, poor paternal relationship[fn:17] and getting your ear pierced as an adult man.[fn:18]

[fn:1] https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu
[fn:2]  https://podtail.com/en/podcast/cum-town/ep-11-david-cross/
[fn:3] https://twitter.com/charlyne_yi/status/919815303357374464
[fn:4] https://youtu.be/6Q5eR4AHk74?t=170 *"Yeah [I am a psycho], i hung myself"*
[fn:5] https://twitter.com/meat_tornado__/status/942039022112686080
[fn:6] https://twitter.com/IANfidance/status/889666329074126849
[fn:7] https://twitter.com/feraljokes/status/1065820206805733376
[fn:8] https://www.phillyvoice.com/bam-margera-rants-wife-manager-instagram/
[fn:9] https://redd.it/aykn8e
[fn:10] http://www.genedinapoli.com/
[fn:11] https://www.reddit.com/r/Cumtown/comments/b0bd8i/another_casualty/
[fn:12] http://shanevader.com/me
[fn:13] https://twitter.com/stavvybaby/status/1084942721285087232
[fn:14] https://twitter.com/stavvybaby/status/968875698185220104
[fn:15] https://twitter.com/stavvybaby/status/1017900229385998336
[fn:16] https://www.patreon.com/posts/adams-whore-11306228
[fn:17] https://twitter.com/stavvybaby/status/1008384379805151232
[fn:18] https://twitter.com/AdamFriedland/status/889192808288014341
